Just Say "YES"

Well, my husband has been home from his Brazil pilgrimage for 1 week now. I really thought that I would have been a blogging fool while he was gone, but I only got 1 little blog out. I guess that is because I am a self-professed worrier. I have spent untold amounts of energy worrying about things that haven't even happened. I am authentically working on this behavior pattern. It is true that in times of stress, it is easy for me (us) to revert back to the same-ole same-ole coping mechanisms, good and bad. For me, it becomes an internal struggle. I'm happy and smiley on the outside, but brooding and tormented on the inside. It was remarkable to me that Tony, Chris's Brazil running buddy and "brother", saw me via Skype almost every night during the pilgrimage. He was talking to Chris via Skype the other night, and, I should insert here that if Tony were a woman, I think I would be getting jealous, but alas, Tony is a man, who loves sushi and beer and loves my husband in a way that I can only try to comprehend. Chris, Tony and Jarom spent 7 days "in the desert" relying on themselves, their bodies and their spirit.. but most of all their commitment to one another. Much like a marriage...once you say "yes".....its for better AND (not or) worse. So, back to what I was saying....Tony looked at me as I poked my tiny head over Chris's shoulder and said "Wow...you have the sparkle in your eyes back....seriously, you look like a different person". I get that...I can try my hardest to put on a good show...so many of us do....but the sparkle in your eye does not lie and cannot be "faked". As I make my journey from gym to mat this "trying to fake it" mentality comes up time and time again. A good instructor leads you to push you limits, but it is up to you to find your limits. Just ask yourself....Is it more important to get into the "pose" (on your mat and in your life), miserable and in poor form just so that those around you will think you have it all together....or will you wait until you have all the necessary components to make the pose real and authentic?


This shows up for me when I am in extended side angle and the instructor allows us to play with taking a half or full bind (this is when your hands connect behind your body). I used to contort my self (ok...this is all VERY relative) just so that the tips of my fingers would touch and I would think..."see...I can do this...Im so cool and happy" (when I was really miserable and hoping for the end of the sequence). I had to take a step back and realize that I wasnt ready. I was getting ready, but not there yet. Can you see how this can relate to EVERY part of life? I now have the tools to come into a full bind with my heart shining up to the "high", my breath free and easy and my foundation stable. It is a process and one that I am grateful to share.
I am also taking a leap of faith in my yoga training, one that I know is in my heart and in my soul and one that forces me to share what I have. So, I am saying "yes" are you? (click here to find yourself in the lyrics to "Just Say Yes" by Snow Patrol.
Just say yes
Just say there is nothing holding you back
Its not a test
Or a trick of the mind, only love.
Tomorrow is my acro-yoga workshop  (I am also taking a dear friend who is a self professed "me monster" and has never done yoga) I will be relying on her to hold me up and let me fly....literally and figuratively....I can only imagine how much I will have to share:).